Introduction

Winnie, above all, was Nelson's constant companion in his cell and his contact with the outer world. Throughout these long years of separation, the separated grew closer. There was no dimming in the relationship which withstood malicious gossip and every kind of State persecution. He addresses her filially, as is customary among Thembu and Pondo, as Mum (the mother of his children), as Dadewethu (sister), Nomabandla (the name his Mandela clan gave her), as sister as Zanyiwe and Ngutyana (reference to her tribe). The lovemaking has continued at a distance, and always in the presence of strangers; the love talk contains its privacy in signs and gestures.

And each visit is celebrated in the letter that follows:

Miss Winnie Mandela in a photograph taken at her house in Orlando after the acquittal of 19 of the 20 people tried under the Terrorist Act. 1970. Benjamin Sello Ramotse's plea was rejected.(© Bailey's African History Archives) 

You looked really wonderful on 17/11, very much like the woman I married. There was colour in your face. Gone was the choleric appearance and glazed look in your eyes when you are under pressure of over-dieting. As usual I kept addressing you as Mum but my body kept telling me that a woman is sitting across this platform. I felt like singing, even if just to say Hallelujah!

22 November 1979

You looked really sparklingly attractive in your outfit during your last visit, especially on Sunday. There was hardly any evidence that Zeni and Zindzi sucked away your youth and part of your physical beauty.

31 March 1983

Your visit last month was quite unexpected and that may be one reason why I enjoyed it so much. At my age I would have expected all the urges of youth to have faded away. But it does not appear to be so. The mere sight of you, even the thought about you, kindles a thousand fires in me.

Though cheerful on 19/2, you nonetheless looked a bit ill and the tiny pools of water in your eyes drowned the love and tenderness they always radiate. But the knowledge of what I have enjoyed in the last twenty years made me feel that love even though physically denied by illness.

On 29/10 you were even more queenly and desirable in your deep green dress and I thought you were lucky that I could neither reach nor confide to you how I felt. Sometimes I feel like one who is on the sidelines, who has missed life itself.

Traveling with you to work in the morning, phoning you during the day, touching your hand or hugging you as you moved up and down the house, enjoying your delicious dishes, the unforgettable hours in the bedroom, made life taste like honey. These are things I cannot forget.

21 January 1979

You may not know that one of my best moments in the old days was to listen to youngsters' compliments of Dadewethu, youngsters who were also caught in the web of intrigue Mother tried to spin around her.

2 September 1979

I love you all the time, in the miserable and cold winter days and when all the beauty, sunshine and warmth of summer returns. My joy when you're bursting with laughter is beyond measure. This is how I always think of you our Mum with plenty to keep her occupied: with a smiling face whatever the circumstances.

10 February 1980

On 30/8 I was hardly out of the visiting rooms and I thought, of you as I walked back to the cell. I said to myself, there goes Msuthu like a bird in hand returning to the bush, to the wild jungle and the wide world. I miss you, Mhlophe, and love you! Devotedly, Dalibunga.

1 October 1975

These days I spend some time thinking of you both as Dadewethu, Mum, pal and mentor. What you perhaps don't know is how often I think and actually picture in my mind all that makes you up physically and spiritually - the shape of your forehead, shoulder, limbs, the loving remarks which come daily and the blind eye you've always turned against those numerous shortcomings that would have frustrated another woman.

Sometimes it is a wonderful experience to sit alone and think back about previous moments spent with you, darling. I even remember a day when you were bulging with Zindzi, struggling to cut your nails. I now recall this with a sense of shame. I could have done it for you. Whether or not I was conscious of it, my attitude was: I've done my duty, a second brat is on the way, the difficulties that you're now facing as a result of your physical conditions are now all yours.

15 April 1976

Your love and devotion has created a debt which I will never attempt to pay back. So enormous is it that even if I had to pay regular instalments for another century I would not settle it. All I can say Mum is Nangamso !

21 July 1979

The tenderness and intimacy which exists between a man and his Mum, Dad, and the special friend that you are. This particular relationship carries with it something that cannot be separated from self.

21 January 1979

Your affectionate letters, Xmas, birthday and wedding anniversary messages always arrive at the right moment, leaving me with the hope of getting an equally stimulating letter the following month. Hearing from the same person every week for fourteen years should have created that familiarity which takes away the freshness and joy of novelty. But I light up immediately your letter comes and I feel like flying where eagles cannot reach. Although I know your ability to put things simply and clearly I was at once attracted by the beautiful way in which you summed up our eighteen years together - eighteen years of the greatest horror in your life. That message, as usual, shocked and thrilled me all at once.

19 July 1976

In times like these I miss you more than ever before. I have told you many times before about the simple things in life that I have missed most these last sixteen years: with you in Jeppe, Chancellor, boxing tournaments, music festivals, film shows, at Nqonqi's in the open veld, the unforgettable days at 8115 and the greatest of all moments - closing the bedroom door.

19 November 1979

Your letters are more than a tonic and I feel different every time I hear from you even when you don the mantle of Nogqwashu and sting me from every direction. Such stings have come to be part of our life, our mutual love and our happiness. They give me some idea of the ravages and damage caused on us by the life of hardship that we must live. On such occasions I always concentrate on the salutation or on the very last words in the concluding paragraph.

31 March 1983

TO ZINDZE, RECALLING WINNIE'S JEALOUSY

One Saturday after 1 p.m., and about a month before Mum and I got married, she came with friends to fetch me from the office and found me waiting for the secretary of a foreign statesman with whom I'd an appointment. Like Mum, she was shatteringly beautiful and about the same age, and although they had not met, Mum was at once surprisingly hostile. Then I was in top physical condition and going to the gym regularly. In spite of all that, and in the presence of onlookers, she caught me by the scruff of the neck and dragged me out. I never saw that lady again.

On another occasion when Zeni was still suckling, we were having supper when a comrade came and asked me to drive one of Mum's lady friends to what was then Sophiatown. The Ngutyana at once retired to the bedroom, literally shaking with anger. I kissed and rubbed her gently between the shoulders and she cooled down. I'm quite ashamed to say it, darling, but I must tell you that, in spite of the raw deal she gave me those days, Mum soon settled down. Today we've a high-souled and tolerant shepherdess who has made a man of me.

4 September 1977